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NOTICE: A better version of this chapter is Chapter 29 – Your Business of the Self of the book Thumoslang on the Run.


According to A New Kind of Friend Group, Chapter 4 above, “a bongo is a different kind of friend group, unlike what you have seen before. Its mission is to build wealth based on its members’ ideals. A bongo is a group of in-person friends whose mission is their ideals. It is the family you choose to have, complementing the family you were born into.”

Furthermore, The Most Important Thing in Life, Chapter 3 above, tells us what personal ideals are. Your ideals are all the milestones most meaningful to you. They are your ideal self, that is, what you truly want to become. “Everything else is secondary,” said Steve Jobs. The following Thumoslang thumbnail definitions should help clarify.

  • Milestones; that means, chronological objectives.
  • Your ideals; that means, your most meaningful milestones.

An Unexpected Realization, Chapter 2 above, spells out the objective meaning of leadership. “To be a leader, you must not go too far ahead that what you do is not part of what your people do in their history.” The following Thumoslang thumbnail definition says it all.

  • Leadership; that means, ahead of history.

“To be a leader, you must be part of the first group writing history for your people. You must be part of the first group that created history for your people. To be a leader of any group, you must spread inspiration and do whatever it takes to be in front and part of its history.”

Nickantony Quach, Alec Mustafayev, and Norman D. Baker formed the first bongo, Bongo One Providence (Bongo1PVD). They cannot create the group’s history if they do not work together to actualize Nick, Alec, and Norman’s ideals.

Could they actualize Alec’s ideals without him doing whatever it takes to be in front and part of his ideal self’s history? No, they could not. All the activities Alec does to advance his ideals are his business of the self. If he did not lead that business unit, he could not create its history. His fellow bongo builders could only help after Alec exercised his leadership.

Notice that all members of a bongo, the family its members choose to have, must be bongo builders. Each must take turns to be the group’s leader. In contrast, not all members of a default family, or the family you were born into, are family builders.

“[Our] bongo can’t help Alec if Alec doesn’t have a direction for [its members] to take,” Norman expressed his frustration in the bongo chatroom on February 1, 2022. At the time, Alec could not project a schedule for a demo unit of his work on fiction. Though Alec was not at fault, he failed to suggest how his fellow bongo builders could help advance his ideals. As a result, he could not take advantage of his fellow members’ availability for his ideals.

No, Nick, Alec, and Norman do not want you to join their bongo, the family they choose to have. It does not make sense for dozens and hundreds of people to participate in the same family. Suppose you want to be in a group whose mission is the personal ideals of each member, including your ideals. In that case, you must form your own bongo at your locality.

However, as a member of your bongo, you must take turns to lead fellow members to advance your ideals. Whether you like it or not, all members of a bongo must take turns to be bongo leaders. That is how others can help you lead your business-of-the-self.

End of Book One

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