Greater Language & Stronger Relationships

6 Thumoslang Handbook

PUBLIC NOTICE: As of 3/20/2021, the content of this handbook has been merged into The Guide to Thumoslang. This document’s version of 2/26/2021, as presented below, is retained hereby for historical purposes. It is no longer part of the Thumoslang Starter Kit. It was Book 7 in, but no longer part of, the Thumoslang Book Collection.

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The Shortcut to Your Ideals

Nickantony Quach & Alec Mustafayev

Using the knowledge presented herein, you are capable of speaking the greater language, building stronger relationships, and actualizing more ideals. Thumoslang is what makes it all possible. The mission of Thumoslang is to minimize misunderstanding, which is often the root cause of all the unwanted drama. When you could have the least amount of unwanted drama, you would be able to go at the fastest speed possible towards your ideals.

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Table of Contents


  1. The Most Important Thing in Life
  2. A Demonstration of Thumoslang
  3. The Origin of Thumoslang
  4. The Thumoslang Discovery
  5. The Importance of Social Clarity
  6. The Nomenclature for Social Clarity
  7. About the Thumoslang Dictionary
  8. Ideals – The Most Important Category
  9. The First Falsifiable Definition of Love
  10. A Crisis of Years Fixed in Days
  11. Thumoslang101 – The Original Demo
  12. A Blade of Mind Sharpened in 3 Hours
  13. The Thumoslang101 Mentoring Process
  14. Appendix
  15. Quick Links
  16. Thumoslang Starter FAQ
  17. Release Notes


1 The Most Important Thing in Life

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Your culture is all the ideals of the people from your region or your nation. Their ideals include their arts, beliefs, customs, social norms, laws, institutions, capabilities, habits, social behavior, and other products generated by their work, derived from their thoughts, or passed down from earlier generations. Their ideals are all the cultural milestones most meaningful to themselves.

  • Culture; that means, all the work and thought passed down.
  • Your-ideals; that means, your most-meaningful milestones.

You have to struggle to reach each and every milestone most meaningful to your life. People around you often make it harder for you to do it. Your relationships with them should be considered as the social roadblocks in your life. The social shortcuts are your relationships with those who make it easier for you to advance towards your ideals.

  • Social-shortcut; that means, faster towards your ideals.
  • Social-roadblock; that means, slower towards your ideals.

Family and friends tend to be the people who bring both roadblocks and shortcuts to your life. Whenever they act as roadblocks slowing you down in your journey towards your ideals, they exaggerate benign events and bring about the unwanted drama in your life.

  • Drama; that means, exaggeration of benign events.

Your ideals are the same as your ideal self, which means, what you truly want to become. “Everything else is secondary,” said Steve Jobs.

  • Your-ideal-self; that means, what you truly want to become.

The biggest reason why you would have a great deal of unwanted drama is because you are not sure how to answer the following question. What do you truly want to become?

The second biggest reason is that you are not sure of how to express in writing a specification of your ideal self. Without it, you cannot determine how fast you are moving towards your ideals.

The third biggest reason is that you have a hard time articulating to others how they can avoid slowing you down as you are moving towards your ideals. If they could not understand your ultimate destination, how could they avoid interfering with your journey in life?

The fourth biggest reason is because others are not interested in your ideals in the long run. This explains why many have a hard time gathering a group behind their ideals.

All of the aforementioned problems came about usually because you used the wrong words, you used them at the wrong time, or you did not discharge their power appropriately. To minimize such problems in life, you need to master the nomenclature for social clarity that is called Thumoslang.

Thumoslang is the shortcut to your ideals!


2 A Demonstration of Thumoslang

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You have 24 hours each day but with sleep, work, and play, you have very few hours left for too many relationships. As you waste more effort on less-important relations, you have less effort available for consequential relationships. That’s why you need to master the art of relationship management.

  • Resource; that means, a source of benefit input.
  • Management; that means, minimizing resource-waste.

It does not matter how great you are at management, relationship management does not work if you cannot effectively count the number of relationships you actually have. Try it, write down an estimated number of relationships you think you now have.

How many relationships did you have last month? Do you now have more or less? If you cannot quantify the difference in relationship count between two given months, you cannot do relationship management. If you cannot do it, you are not mastering relationships. In that case, relationships are mastering you and you are thus enslaved by relationships. In that case, you are not in control of relationships but relationships are in control of your life.

To master relationships, you must understand the differences between a relation and a relationship. It’s hard to tell because both involve the same feeling of being included.

  • Inclusion; that means, considered as a participant.
  • Involvement; that means, causing inclusion.

When you meet a random person in the public, you have an interaction. When that person, say Kevin, helps you figure out where to go, you have a service. When Kevin lets you know of his phone number, you have a contact.

  • Interaction; that means, action between.
  • Service; that means, deliberate assistance.

When you go to the bakery where Kevin works and buy bread from him, you receive another service from him. Because you like the bread, you go there, again and again, then every day. Each time, you talk to Kevin for a minute then pay for the bread and leave the store. You may see Kevin almost every day during the month but neither Kevin nor you would think of your ongoing interaction as that of a relationship. To be sure, a service is not a relationship. A step in between is a relation.

  • Purpose; that means, value to others.
  • Relation; that means, purposeful involvement.

A relation is an activity by two sides sharing the same purpose. Your meeting with Kevin every day at his bakery was never a relation because your purpose there was to buy bread from him and his purpose there was to sell bread to you. Without the same purpose, the interaction is likely to be a service and not a relation.

When you join a weekend chess club, you may play chess with three members of the club regularly. As you share the same activity and the same purpose, you have a relation with each of the three.

At the same time, you also join a weekend tennis club. You also play tennis with four members of the club every week. As you share the same activity and the same purpose, you have a relation with each of the four.

With the three chess-mates and the four tennis-mates, you now have seven ongoing relations. In such a situation, none of them would consider you as having a relationship with any of them. If any of them did, that person was looking at a phantom relationship, which is a relationship in the mind but not in reality.

If Mary is your chess-mate and she is also your tennis-mate, she is having two ongoing relations with you. As soon as you have at least two ongoing relations with anyone, you have a relationship with that person.

  • Relationship; that means, ongoing relations.
  • Phantom; that means, no substantial existence.
  • Phantom-relationship; that means, less than two ongoing relations.

All the bulleted items presented earlier are called thumbnail definitions. They are often herein referred to simply as thumbnails.

  • Thumbnail; that means, brief but concise.
  • Meaning; that means, description of importance.
  • Definition; that means, explanation of meaning.

Each thumbnail is a brief but concise definition using Thumoslang syntax to identify one and only one concept. The meaning should answer the following question for users of the concept. How do I know that the concept is in play, or not?

  • Thought; that means, product of the mind.
  • Concept; that means, detailed thought.

How many relationships did you have last month? Do you now have more or less? With the above thumbnails, you should be able to answer such questions. The collection of all such thumbnail definitions is called Thumoslang.

Thumoslang is what gives you the power to quantitatively answer such questions. With such power, you are capable of social clarity. That means, you are capable of reaching full understanding of many situations in your social life. Relationship management is possible only when you have social clarity. Thumoslang is what makes it possible.

Management of interpersonal relationships is more effective with Thumoslang.


3 The Origin of Thumoslang

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A few weeks before the September 11th Attacks, Nickantony Quach walked his son to school, on his first day in first grade. On the walk back home, between their good-bye and the first stop sign, it dawned on Nick that he had always been a father by default but never a father by design.

  • By-default; that means, no alteration.
  • By-design; that means, deliberately and purposefully.

“What kind of a father,” asked Nick, “do I truly want to become?”

As he grew up, he was never impressed with the way parenting was overall discharged by many in real life as well as by their counterparts in fiction. They often come up with too many rules for their children but they have a hard time remembering most of their own rules and, more importantly, applying them in front of their children.

With determination, Nick spent several hours every night in the following week to figure out what it would take for him to become the first-ever perfect father. The result is a five-word lesson, later referred to as, the First Thumos Mantra. Once a week throughout the first grade, he talked to his son about it, often while his son was bored sitting in the back seat on the way to various places around the town.

Fourteen years later and 1700 miles away, on the Henderson Bridge of Rhode Island, a senior student at Brown University disclosed the trouble he was having in the relationship with his parents over the recent years. Nick gave him the five-word mantra for use at home. Two months later, Nick received an email from the student saying thanks because he was able to erase the biggest relationship problem in his life, thanks to those five words.

That was totally unexpected because Nick did not realize that those five words could be as useful to a college graduate as well as a first grader. That was when he first had the desire to write about them.

Eight months later, he was introduced to Mark Canny, who was at the time a sophomore at the University of Rhode Island. Nick and Mark worked with one another for two years before publishing the 2017 book THUMOS: Adulthood, Love & Collaboration, before Mark graduated from college. Thumoslang was discovered in December 2019 when the teenager Charbel Hachem’s life was changed by three thumbnail definitions found in the book.

Thumoslang is the new technology for greater social life.


4 The Thumoslang Discovery

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The year after the book was published, Nick created the YouTube channel Ri4CTV as a way to promote the book. Its sister channel by the same name on Instagram did not appear until 2020.

What is presented in the book is called Thumos philosophy. To make it easier for translation to Non-Latin languages, the philosophy is also referred to as “PVD Philosophy” as PVD stands for Providence, where the book was written. In late 2018, the book was introduced on Ri4CTV by the YouTube series PVD Philosophy.

Even more than a year after the book was published, and after the YouTube series was produced, Nick still had a hard time articulating the ins and outs of the philosophy to someone new. In December 2019, when he was ready to present it to Charbel Hachem, Nick chose a new approach. Instead of diving into its rules right away, he slowly presented its concepts as they were brought up by Charbel. The first three are:

  • Journey; that means, self discovery.
  • Success; that means, peer recognition.
  • Wealth; that means, passive income.

Within the same conversation, as soon as Charbel got a good handle on these three concepts, his life was changed. He recalled his experience in the Ri4CTV video Thumoslang Appearance, which is part of the Thumoslang109 Training Videos.

As soon as Nick saw the life-changing power of only three sentences, he decided to skip the rules and focus on the concepts whenever he talks about the Thumos philosophy. When you strip the rules off of a philosophy, what remains is its nomenclature.

You can change someone’s life in a few sentences using Thumoslang.


5 The Importance of Social Clarity

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Thumoslang is an excellent icebreaker in becoming closer with others, and thus something that can be used to benefit the health of your relationships. More importantly, it brings about social clarity to your life and that of everyone around you.

When you spend more time in damage control mode and less time benefiting from your various relationships, you waste a great deal of effort in your social life. Such a cost of opportunity keeps you from going at high speed towards your ideals. This is likely due to the lack of social clarity.

The full understanding of a particular situation in your social life is social clarity, which is normally brought about by the reasoning of a solid social logic. Your level of social clarity depends on the strength of your social logic. Social clarity calls for social logic, which is defined as evidence-based conviction in dealing with others.

Relationships fail without logic, which fails without arguments. Logic is comprised of statements, premises, and a conclusion. These things do not work well together without an unambiguous naming system. Such a naming system is called a nomenclature.

Using a nomenclature such as Thumoslang, you can conjure the power of social logic, enough to achieve social clarity and thus fully understand of difficult situations in your social life. With social clarity you spend more time benefiting from your various relationships and less time in damage control mode. This should clear the way for the fastest possible speed towards your ideals.


6 The Nomenclature for Social Clarity

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In computing, an instruction is not, as understood in common usage, a sequence of orders telling you what to do, especially in teaching settings. To computer programmers, it is “a group of several bits in a computer program that contains an operation code and usually one or more memory addresses”. Instruction is a term in computing jargon.

In mathematical jargon, the “instruction” is called an expression. The “operation code” is called an operator and the “memory addresses” are called operands.

A term carries a different meaning when it is used in a different jargon. When a set of terms carry the same meaning in every context, it is called a nomenclature.

  • Language; that means, structured words.
  • Jargon; that means, profession-based language.
  • Nomenclature; that means, naming system.

If you want to become an expert in any field, you must first learn of its nomenclature, i.e. its naming system. If you want to quickly achieve greater relationships in all you do, you need to use Thumoslang. With it you can have stronger relationships with far less effort.

Thumoslang is the nomenclature for social clarity. It offers an architecture for social logic. The reason it can help the life of anyone who uses it is that it is a philosophy with no rules, and therefore a philosophy that does not interfere with the way someone chooses to live their life.

Thumoslang is powerful because it keeps subjective interpretation and thus misunderstanding down to the minimum by making sure that each of its terms carries one and only one concept, or falsifiable meaning, as spelled out by a thumbnail definition using Thumoslang syntax. The entire nomenclature is presented by the Thumoslang Dictionary, which is produced by the Quach & Mustafayev Group.

The first step to expertise in any field is to master its nomenclature.


7 About the Thumoslang Dictionary

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Written by Nickantony Quach and Alec Mustafayev and produced by the Quach & Mustafayev Group, the Thumoslang Dictionary is the 6th book in the Thumoslang Book Collection. Its title is that same as that of its hosting website: Thumoslang – Greater Language & Stronger Relationships. It is herein referred to simply as the dictionary. Its first edition is released entirely on a single web page.

Entries in the Thumoslang Dictionary are sorted by context rather than by alphabetical order like in a normal dictionary. They’re also sorted to an extent by profession. As one or another problem pops up in your life, you can thus quickly locate the terms useful in solving it with a simple look at the table of contents. That’s how you can ensure the power of language is always on your side.

The dictionary is divided into a number of sections. Each section covers a set of thumbnail definitions useful in a conversation about a particular set of related topics.

In the dictionary, the table of contents is presented in two views. One is a list of all sections in alphabetical order. The other view is a list of categories, each of which presents a set of related sections.

The Thumoslang Dictionary holds the entire nomenclature for social clarity.


8 Ideals – The Most Important Category

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Whenever you are not sure of what you are doing or why you are doing it, read the first chapter again and remember that your ideals are the same as your ideal self, which means, what you truly want to become. “Everything else is secondary,” said Steve Jobs. Your ideals should always be the reason why you are carrying out whatever you are doing. Otherwise, stop doing it and stop wasting your time.

If you do not know or are not sure of what your ideals are, stop wasting your time and start figuring out what your ideals are. This task is made easier by using the terms as defined by the thumbnails presented under the category Ideals in the Thumoslang Dictionary. It’s the most important category because the most important thing in life is your ideals. Under the category Ideals, you should see the following paragraph.

The three biggest human skill sets are adulthood, love, and collaboration. They are necessary to envision a deliberate future, maintain a healthy emotion, and make an enjoyable living.

These skill sets are fully explained by the 2017 book Thumos: Adulthood, Love & Collaboration. Existing sections in this guidebook and the dictionary should give you a foretaste and get you started on your Thumoslang journey.


9 The First Falsifiable Definition of Love

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The 2017 book is the first to offer a falsifiable definition of love. That means, the definition can be tested to see if it is true or false. Consider the following thumbnail:

  • Love; that means, the nurturing of personal ideals.

To understand the above definition, we must understand two different concepts: nurturing and personal ideals. For the former, consider the following sequence:

  • Direction; that means, guided path.
  • Growth; that means, sequence of changes.
  • Development; that means, directed growth.
  • Fostering; that means, encouraging development.
  • Nurturing; that means, fostering growth.

To understand what your personal ideals are, consider the following:

  • Milestones; that means, chronological objectives.
  • Your-ideals; that means, your most-meaningful milestones.

When you love, you have a feeling of loving. When you are loved, you have a feeling of being loved. These feelings are the result of love even while they are subjective and not testable.

  • Physiology; that means, functionality of bodily parts.
  • Feeling; that means, mental sensation.
  • Emotion; that means, feeling from physiological changes.

To enjoy the emotion of love, we must generate physiological changes. That calls for energy, which requires action. It’s no wonder why the above falsifiable definition of love involves an action verb: nurturing. More than a one-time action, nurturing is a long-term process consuming a lot of energy. You cannot nurture without fostering, developing, and directing along the way.

As demonstrated above, the Thumoslang Dictionary spells out the language of love in this section here but it does not tell you how or when to use it. For a full explanation of how you could effectively discharge the power of love, see the 2017 book Thumos: Adulthood, Love & Collaboration.


10 A Crisis of Years Fixed in Days

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Thumoslang has been helping me to heal my relationship with my mother. We were at odds for a while. Now I realize [that] our ideals were at different places. I didn’t understand what she wanted from her life. Because of that, I wasn’t able to connect properly with her. Instead, I was basically just completely focusing on what I wanted out of my life and then occasionally telling her of what I was doing without any intention as to whether that information would be well received or not. That causes a lot of tension in between us because I am in a stage of my life where I’m developing and I have had many different projects. But in her eyes, that was, every time I looked at a project, I went into it and then decided that it wasn’t for me, that was me wasting time and also not acting to secure my future… – Jairson Ascencao

You can directly hear Jairson Ascencao making the above statement in this video here: Video Letter to Lucia, which is the first episode in Season 3 of the YouTube series NDBaker93 on Ri4CTV.


11 Thumoslang101 – The Original Demo

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Thumoslang101 is a video series provided by the YouTube channel Ri4CTV. It is comprised of six videos capturing most of the second conversation between Nickantony Quach and Ifeanyi Onyekaba (born 1993), a 25-year-old father who graduated from the University of Rhode Island and worked as a professional salesman. The conversation unexpectedly turned into a three-hour mentoring session which took place in August 2019. As the result, Thumoslang101 is the first on-camera demonstration of Thumoslang’s power.


12 A Blade of Mind Sharpened in 3 Hours

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What surprised me the most was how quickly [Ifeanyi Onyekaba] was able to go from being very … confused. You sharpened the blade of his mind. I was surprised by how quickly you were able to sharpen the blade of his mind. And what I meant by that is, he was able to hone in very quickly and realize some really important things about himself in the span three hours. I spent so much time in school and never seen someone being able to grow that much that quickly. That’s what surprised me the most: how much I was able to see him grow [using Thumoslang]. – Jairson Ascencao

You can directly hear Jairson Ascencao making the above statement in this video here: Quickly Sharpen the Blade of Your Mind, which is Episode 21 in the YouTube series Thumoslang102 on Ri4CTV.


13 The Thumoslang101 Mentoring Process

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If you want the blade of your mind sharpened within three hours, you want to be subjected through the Thumoslang101 Mentoring Process. In this experience, you would watch the YouTube series Thumoslang101. If possible, you would pause the video from time to time and talk about the recent segment with a mentor or someone who has more social experience. Better yet, do it on camera such that your experience would be available for posterity.

  • The first person who went through the Thumoslang101 Mentoring Process was Jairson Ascencao (born 1999) who was 20 at the time. The result is the YouTube series Thumoslang102.
  • The second person who went through the Thumoslang101 Mentoring Process was Alec Mustafayev (born 2002) who was 17 at the time. The result is the YouTube series Thumoslang104.
  • The third person who went through the Thumoslang101 Mentoring Process was John Kandalaft who was 36 at the time. The result is the YouTube series Thumoslang106.

Jairson, Alec, and John independently went through the Thumoslang101 process under the supervision of their mentor Nickantony Quach and his camera.

If you live in or near Providence, Rhode Island and you would like to have the same experience as Jairson, Alec, and John did, feel free to set it up with Nickantony Quach for a filming session in Providence. This service is free of charge to all who would let the filming result be presented on the YouTube channel Ri4CTV: Rhode Island Foresight Television!

14 Appendix

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At this time, the previous Section 13 is the last chapter. All sections hereinafter are not part of the main work, which will soon be further extended.

15 Quick Links

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16 Thumoslang Starter FAQ

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  1. Are your ideals the same as your ideal self? Yes; see the section Your Ideals & Your Ideal Self.
  2. What is your business of the self? See the section What Do You See in the Mirror?
  3. Who is your second mind; why is that person important? See the section What is Professionalism?
  4. What is unwanted drama; how does one have so much of it in life? See the section The Most Important Thing in Life.
  5. Do we have a quick way to demonstrate the power of Thumoslang? Yes; see the section A Demonstration of Thumoslang.
  6. Is Thumoslang a Cult or Religion?
  7. How should one get started with Thumoslang? See the section Getting Started with Your Thumoslang Journey.
  8. Is Thumoslang useful without other speakers nearby? Yes; see the section The Last English Speaker.
  9. Where does Thumoslang come from? See the section The Origin of Thumoslang.
  10. Was Thumoslang first discovered by chance or intention? See the section The Thumoslang Discovery.
  11. What is social clarity; why is it important? See the section The Importance of Social Clarity. Follow up with the section The Nomenclature for Social Clarity.
  12. What is the Most Important Thing in Life?
  13. Where to begin when first using the Thumoslang Dictionary? See the section Ideals – The Most Important Category.
  14. What is the first falsifiable definition of love?
  15. Who are the first speakers of Thumoslang? Jairson Ascencao and Alec Mustafayev; see the section The Last English Speaker.
  16. Who is the first to use Thumoslang? In 2016, before the original Thumos book was published, a visiting professor at Brown University used Thumoslang as the nomenclature for social clarity. As the writers saw the positive result of their work in how the professor’s life was drastically improved, they wrapped up their work and published it in the following year. The title of the book is Thumos: Adulthood, Love & Collaboration.
  17. What to read first in the starter kit? When you first use the Thumoslang Starter Kit, begin with the Guide to Thumoslang. It’s the simplest book of them all, and highly recommended as a first read for those who have never learned about Thumoslang before. The Thumoslang Handbook is slightly advanced, and recommended for those who have a moderate amount of knowledge on what Thumoslang is. The Thumoslang Dictionary is intended for advanced users of Thumoslang, as the purpose it serves is less for teaching and more for reference of Thumoslang terms when necessary.

Guide | Dictionary | FAQ | More

17 Release Notes

Revised at 8:06:39 PM on 2/26/2021 in Rhode Island, this document is updated regularly online and periodically updated in print. It’s part of the Thumoslang Book Collection.

Select the following link for the latest version of this document, which is one of three online books in the Thumoslang Starter Kit.

To offer feedback or comment on anything presented herein or to obtain Thumoslang mentoring services, please contact the Quach & Mustafayev Group directly.


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